Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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