I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
