i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
