She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Come share oat with me in your robe
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
