He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
