i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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