in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
