Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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