p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
