OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
