Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
