I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
either way he was missing a nipple.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
