I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
whose parrot is this?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
