my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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