I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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