You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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