...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
