My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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