she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
