We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we made out on top of his cat.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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