I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
