That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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