Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
