you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
