I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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