Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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