She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize