She's JV to your varsity
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
