The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize