Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
