ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
