So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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