is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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