Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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