One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
