I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's rum buckets o'clock
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
