I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
