I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
