Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
