Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
