I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
