the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize