Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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