My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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