If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize