The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
