i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
