To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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