Dual....:-)
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
