OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
