Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
