I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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