ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
